Everyone make NFL picks every week, and they suck, so why can’t I take a shot?
In case you’re wondering, I will keep track of my overall record starting from Week 1, not Week 3. How do you know if that’s legitimate? Well, I’m in an “online NFL selection group” for “entertainment purposes only.” It’s kept track of all my picks since Week 1, so if you don’t believe my record prior to today, I’d more than willing to have you watch me log into my account and show you for yourself.
(Besides, why would anyone fake a 10-22 record?)
Here are the Week 3 picks. (Home team in CAPS)
Kansas City (+3.5) over PHILADELPHIA (WOOT WOOOOOT!)
I’ve been saying it since August, the Chiefs are winning the AFC West.
WASHINGTON (-1.5) over Detroit
The Lions haven’t beat the Redskins in the DMV since the Civil War. Seriously.
NY Giants (+1.5) over CAROLINA
I believe in Carolina’s defense, but I believe in the Giants more.
NEW ORLEANS (-7.5) over Arizona
The half-point is enticing, but Carson Palmer’s trademark PSPG (pick six per game) helps the Saints cover.
St. Louis (+3.5) over DALLAS (UPSET SPECIAL)
I had Dallas at 1-2 after three weeks, but with an 0-2 start. The Rams win outright to keep the dream alive.
NEW ENGLAND (-7.5) over Tampa Bay
A mutiny is a-brewin’ in Tampa. The Pats get their swagger back in a big win.
MINNESOTA (-5.5) over Cleveland
Originally I had Cleveland, until the Trade of the Century happened. Brian Hoyer on the road? Not even Christian Ponder can screw this up.
CINCINNATI (+1.5) over Green Bay
Green Bay may not face a tougher defense for the rest of the year (and they play the Bears twice). A 17-16 win for the Packers is very feasible.
TENNESSEE (-3.5) over San Diego
While I think the “West Coast team traveling east” corollary is semi-overrated, the “Chargers traveling from San Diego to Philadelphia to San Diego to Nashville in 13 days” corollary isn’t.
BALTIMORE (+2.5) over Houston
Besides the fact that I always pick my team (especially when they’re getting points), or because they’re retiring Ray Lewis’ number at halftime,* but Baltimore owes the Texans an ass-whipping.
* – Yes, I know it’s officially Ray Lewis being inducted into the Ravens’ Ring of Honor and not his jersey retirement ceremony, but you’re nuts if you think ANYONE will ever wear No. 52 for the Baltimore Ravens ever again.
Atlanta (+1.5) over MIAMI
This is basically a pick ’em. Atlanta is better than Miami, period
Jacksonville (+19.5) over SEATTLE (LOCK OF THE WEEK)
When two NFL teams are involved, I’m taking 19.5 points every single time. (Note: You may care to know what Jaguars’ head coach Gus Bradley’s last job was. #justsayin)
Indianapolis (+10.5) over SAN FRANCISCO
I picked Indy before the Trade of the Century happened. SF 27, IND 17.
Buffalo (+1.5) over NY JETS
E.J. Manuel has C. J. Spiller, Fred Jackson and Stevie Johnson. Geno Smith has Chris Ivory, Bilal Powell and Clyde Gates. There you go.
Chicago (-2.5) over PITTSBURGH
As much as I hate the Steelers, I always picked them when they were getting points, especially at home. But they far worse than I though they’d be this year.
Oakland (+14.5) over DENVER
DEN 34, OAK 3 wouldn’t surprise me at all. Then again, neither would DEN 31, OAK 17.
Last Week: 3-13
This Season: 10-22