/Donald Trump Is A Basic B—- (and Other Observations)

Donald Trump Is A Basic B—- (and Other Observations)

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These are some thoughts that I have. If you’re offended, can’t take it back, handle your business. -S.

Donald Trump is the political equivalent of a basic bitch.
A basic bitch is a person (I use it across gender) who is revered by the masses (whether it be co-workers, friends, colleagues or the high school football team) while not really saying or doing anything extraordinary. He/She usually has that one redeemable quality (ex: tall, long hair, in shape, nice ass, etc.) that makes him/her relevant enough to hold your attention, but there really isn’t much else after that.

While watching Sunday’s Steelers-Eagles game, I saw my first Donald Trump ad. Those were 30 seconds of my life I’ll never get back, because the ad said absolutely nothing. Unfortunately, I can’t show you the ad, but not because I could get in trouble for posting it, but because I can’t find it anywhere (including his own damn Web site).

Donald Trump is adored by millions (yes, millions. He’s in a virtual dead heat to become President of the United States. He says what he wants, whether it’s true or not, because he knows his audience will eat it up. And he’s tall. Donald Trump is the blueprint for a basic bitch.

No one wins a big game that only matters to himself like Rex Ryan.
My dislike for Rex Ryan is well documented. I think he’s a mediocre coach on his best day. But when he needs a win that ultimately won’t matter to anyone else on planet Earth, Rex will get it. He beat the Browns & Dolphins to finish 8-8 with the Jets in 2013 and keep his job (only to go a sparkling 4-12 the next year and lose his job). His Bills swept the Jets last season, including a Week 17 win that kept the Jets out of the playoffs (the same playoffs the Bills have missed for 16 straight seasons). And with his back against the wall, Rex pulled off another big win against the Cardinals, possibly saving his job for another week. Too bad the Bills have no chance at winning the AFC East and are a long shot to make the playoffs. But hey, Rex will make you feel good for a week.

Jeff Fisher is the reason why the Rams are always 7-9… and not 3-13.
A lot has been made lately of Jeff Fisher’s mediocrity as a head coach (SB Nation went so far as to call him a Ponzi scheme). While I don’t rate him as a top five head coach, here are some facts that should help you settle down:

– The best quarterback he’s had this decade is Sam Bradford
– Their defense is a terror every year (ask fans on other NFC West teams)
– You can’t name their leading receiver in any season this decade

Getting destroyed on Monday Night Football 28-0 isn’t a good look. But holding the Seahawks (the team everyone blindly pencils into 11 wins every year) to 3 points, then dropping 37 on the road in Tampa Bay (everyone’s darling sleeper) is a good look. Jeff Fisher has done way more good than harm in his career. A lot of franchises would sign up for 7-9 (ahem, Cleveland & Jacksonville) in a heartbeat.

LSU is out of its mind for firing Les Miles.
LSU just fired a coach with a record of 114-34 over 12 years that brought them their 3rd national championship since 1893. EIGHTEEN NINETY THREE. Some football programs have champagne dreams with a PBR lifestyle. LSU was irrelevant in my lifetime until some guy named Nick Saban showed up in 1999, followed by Les Miles in 2004. Don’t be surprised if they go right back to irrelevance.

The Bears might be the worst team in football
Before last season, I said the Bears would be the worst team in the NFC. Looks like I was early by a year. Before you blame the injuries, remember they weren’t good before the injuries hit. Somewhere, Lovie Smith is smiling. (Actually, it’s in Champaign, Illinois, where he coaches the Fighting Illini.)

Never trust Miami in anything costing more than a dollar.
If the Browns didn’t have to rely on a kicker they signed last Friday because their normal kicker got injured (insert what he did here), all of your survivor pools would have went up in smoke. Here’s a tip: As long as Ryan Tannehill is the QB, the Dolphins shouldn’t be as trusted as far as you can throw them.

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